The real problem, and why so many of us feel chronically unhappy with our life, is related to how we really feel about ourselves.
In order to feel at peace and fully content with our lives, we must first and foremost learn to love ourselves.
And for most of us, it’s hard to know whether or not we truly love and accept ourselves, or if we just think we do.
So what are the signs that you actually don’t love yourself?
When working with individuals in therapy or in a group session, there are many signs that point to a person not loving themselves.
These two are particularly insidious, because they lie beneath that chronic sense of discontent that can last decades – a lifetime, even. See if you can relate:
1. You run yourself ragged trying to be everything to everyone
Your boss sends you a last minute request, and you always do them right away, even when it means missing dinner dates, time with your kids, or workouts with friends at the gym.
You offer to watch your neighbor’s dog while he’s on vacation, even though you barely have time to walk and play with your own dog.
You say “yes” even when you don’t have the time, energy, or desire, because you don’t want to disappoint the people that count on you.
You think your problem is that you’re not organized enough, that you don’t set good enough boundaries, or that there’s just not enough time in the day to do everything you want to do.
Actually the problem isn’t that at all.
The problem is that you don’t love yourself, so you’re always trying to prove something to someone – that you’re a good partner, a good parent, or a good employee. Unless you learn to love yourself, you’ll forever run yourself ragged and never feel accomplished.
2. You never feel like you’re “enough”
No matter what you do for others, you don’t feel like you’re enough, meaning, you don’t ever feel that people truly love or respect you. Nothing you do is ever enough to make others (or yourself) satisfied for long.
If you’re single, this shows up in that sinking feeling you get whenever your partner is acting distant or your worry over whether or not they’ll call you again. They may have told you they had a nice time on the date, but you won’t believe them. You’re convinced that other people have great relationships, but that you never will.
If you’re in a relationship, it could mean that you seethe with jealousy whenever your partner talks about another person or pays attention to anyone else. You fear being abandoned and you worry about them breaking up with you. You can’t handle criticism and feel like your partner is constantly on your back about something.
At work it means not feeling appreciated or respected for your contribution. At home it can be second-guessing how you treated your kids. Did you say the right thing? Is someone going to think you’re a bad parent?
It could show up as never being happy with how you look or feel and therefore giving up on the habits that can really make a difference in your health.
You may think all these problems are the results of choosing the wrong partner, or having an inconsiderate boss, or out-of-control kids. But actually these are all symptoms of a greater problem – that you don’t love yourself.
And it can lead to strained or broken relationships, career setbacks, and a whole host of health issues.
Not loving yourself is a symptom of so many personal problems, but there is one solution that can turn everything around.
Learning To Love Yourself Is A Simple Process With A Lifetime Of Rewards
You can solve a lot of the problems you’re experiencing in life if you just learn to love yourself.
You don’t have to feel exhausted all the time. You don’t have to feel inadequate in any area of life, or wonder if you’ll ever be loved the way you deserve.
You just need to learn how to tap into who you really are, and then accept yourself fully.
In my Learning to Love Yourself Special Bundle, I take you through the same exact process that I went through myself 40 years ago when I had the first of many breakthroughs that changed my life. I’ll explain how and why loving yourself works, and the steps you can take immediately in order to start to make huge changes in your life, love, and happiness.
This process, which I turned into a powerful therapeutic technique that I’ve successfully taught to more than 20,000 individuals in the last four decades, will enable you to free yourself of feelings of chronic dissatisfaction, increase your self-esteem, and feel at peace with your life and love.
Here’s a sample of what you’ll learn from the Learning to Love Yourself Special Bundle:
The underlying cause of “people pleasing” and how to reprogram your thoughts so you’re not automatically serving other’s needs at the expense of your own peace and well being.
10 powerful “attitudes” that have the power to set you free from prior negative conditioning.
Why blaming others when things go wrong can actually stunt any good regard you have for yourself, and how to get out of the cycle of blame and helplessness for good.
The secret psychological reason you’re attracted to the people you’re attracted to – and how knowing this can transform a “problem” relationship into an opportunity for true personal growth! And much more!
By Katie & Gay Hendricks
